SEVENAOKS LEISURE CENTRE

Not again.

IMAGE CREDIT: EVERYONE ACTIVE

I’m writing this staring at my own reflection on a stationary bike, looking out over the car park where, an hour earlier, I was desperately trying to work out whether I had to pay for parking or not, now mentally kicking myself for my own denseness.

The man next to me has spent a good five minutes wiping down the adjacent bike, only to remove his shoes before saddling up, shove a couple of paper towels under each arm, using one to blow his nose before replacing it, and then have a long phone conversation despite opening it with the words, “I can’t talk now.”

Anyway, the gym at Sevenoaks Leisure Centre is… fine.

For a start, it’s small. Not a setting designed for the broader bodied. Everything feels cramped, you’re constantly aware of where everyone else is, and scared to move from your spot in case you drift into someone’s space.

The equipment selection is similarly unwhelming. Dumbbells only go up to 20kg, which simply isn’t enough. Kettlebells top out at 32kg, but only singles for the heavier weights. There are a couple of benches, one rack, a Smith machine, and the usual array of Technogym finery.

The viewing gallery overlooking the pool is a nice idea in theory, but the constant condensation means it feels more like training inside a greenhouse. It all gives the impression of a gym that exists because it has to, rather than because someone really wanted it to.

That might be unkind. It’s a perfectly decent first gym if you're new to training or something for the casual fitness enthusiast, a conclusion supported by the number of under-twenties training there. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But at this point, it felt like a gym without aspiration.

And that’s where the review would have ended — if I hadn’t needed a wee before leaving.

Down a flight of stairs, I discovered that the toilets aren’t just on a different floor. They’re inside a second gym.

Suddenly there are dumbbells up to 50kg. A solid leg press. Multiple racks. Plates. Space. No time or energy left to rummage. I was fuming.

If you’ve read my review of Frogmore Leisure Centre, you’ll know this isn’t the first time an Everyone Active site has caught me out like this. In my defence, it’s not particularly well signposted, and rather than being just around the corner it is in a separate room on a different floor — but still. Fool me twice.

Ironically, the song playing through my headphones at this exact moment iis Robbie Williams’ I Love My Life which isn't help matters.

And on this occasion, it isn’t Sevenoaks or Everyone Active’s fault. If anything, they’ve done well with the hand they’ve been dealt. Leisure centres like this were built around swimming pools, with everything else bolted on where possible. Gyms were an afterthought, not an equal partner. What you’re seeing here is an attempt to retrofit modern training demands into an old model.

In a strange way, I quite like it. The heavy lifting area feels almost like a speakeasy — underground and slightly forbidden. In fact, they may as well go the whole hog and add a sliding bookcase with a little hatch. I can see how the setup might put some people off, but it works for me.

Its discovery also softens some of my earlier criticisms.

It’s not a dead gym by any stretch. There’s plenty going on and it was bustling when I visited. The recent refurb has given the stretching and cable areas Everyone Active’s trademark sheen, but the upstairs lifting area — with the track and benches — still feels slightly in limbo. It doesn’t feel as looked after. The lack of any real barrier to entry — i was able to just walk straight in without scanning a pass — also feels slightly at odds with modern safeguarding expectations.

Still, once you know where to go, there’s enough here to put together a very solid session. The only real problem — at least for me — is discovering all of it in the first place.

So maybe one day I’ll walk out of an Everyone Active gym without steam percolating from my ears.

At least now I’ve got a reason to go back to the gym at Sevenoaks Leisure Centre: to use the other half of it.